Aunt Bessie RIP March 2, 2011

Getting older has its advantages and disadvantages. One of the disadvantages is the longer you live the more likely you are to lose someone you love. On March 2, 2011 I lost my Aunt Bessie, who was one of my father’s sisters. Of all of my father's siblings Aunt Bessie was the one I was closest to. My sister and I would spend our summers when we were younger with her. At the time I didn't understand why we had to go up there, but now that I have kids of my own I see why, my parents needed a break! Growing up I thought my Aunt was MEAN! She would beat my sister and I harder than my father did. I use to tease her about this when I got older, which would make her upset. As I got older I started to see that she wasn't MEAN, but wanted the best for my sister and me, which started with discipline.

Once I got into High school my sister and I did not go stay with my Aunt Bessie anymore during the summer; however that did not mean she did not have her eye on us. She was there for my sister's graduation from High school as well as mine. In fact even when her health was not the best she made sure to be at all of our life events. The one that meant the most was when she came down for my wedding five years ago. Since my wedding I believe she only made it down to VA once or twice due to her health. It was difficult for her to travel because of her health but her spirit always remained bright.

I got a chance to see my Aunt Bessie about three weeks before she passed. I had no idea at the time how sick she was and that would be the last time I saw her. I keep thinking about what I would have said or what I would have done differently. She had been in and out of the hospital for months; however, I did not realize she was as sick as she was until I went to see. Maybe I should have told her about the influence she had on my life. Maybe I should have told her to hold on, fight a little harder we needed her. In the end I told her I loved her and gave her a kiss thinking when I could make it back up to see her. Of course I never got the chance.

Her memorial service provided closure for me. I was prepared to speak and share what my aunt had meant to me growing up. However, a funny thing happen, one by one young people stood up and told “my” story about my aunt. The more people spoke the more I realized what a great women she was. She was MEAN to a lot of young folks, but that’s because she loved them. Just like I am a better person today because of her discipline; so are a lot of other young adults in Jersey City. RIP Aunt Bessie, I love you and I miss you.